Highlight: Klose becomes the World Cup all-time leading scorer!
90 mins +: Oscar (Brazil) Scores!
87 mins: Some of these are career low performances. Hulk, the poor bloke is a laughing stock. Ditto Fred. Luiz, well all the bad bits have been in full effect. Marcelo probably the worst of the lot, just wandering up the left wing, missing from his post time and again. In the time it’s taken me to type that, he has lost the ball 30 yards from goal and luckily for him Schurrle fails with the cross. And now Marcelo has gone missing and let Lahm in. Literally, two separate horrible mistakes in ten seconds.
85 mins: Good move from Brazil ends with Ramires shooting from outside the box.
84 mins: Brazil playing well in fits and starts.
80 mins: Paulinho knocks it down for Marcelo, who shoots a couple of yards wide. Neuer rushes to get the ball to restart. Steady on old chap. “Neuer is programmed to win,” says Martin Keown. That was Ivan Drago, wasn’t it Martin?
GOAL! Nope. That is the best goal yet. Surging run down the left, inside to Schurrle and he has lashed it home with a magnifcent finish.
76 mins: Marcelo gives it away cheaply. Handbags between Luiz and Muller, the Brazil man looks like he’s losing the rag. Red card for the captain would be a fitting final indignity. Ref chills everyone down.Michelle Mcmahon:
Germany needs to remember they are guests and have some manners. No more! On the other hand…The German (Shepherd) I live with is strutting. Annoying. Typical. German. He’s winning his predictions.
75 mins: Several minutes have elapsed without the Germans scoring, the big losers, so they bring on Julian Draxler – who always sounds like a techno DJ to me. This the musical equivalent of nosebleed gabber at 11am in a Rotterdam shipping container yard. for the Brazil players/fans. The super Khedira is the man who goes off.
70 mins: As to David’s question, Brazil’s attack has totally sucked, like their defence. I guess that the defensive mistakes are more glaring.
69 mins: Big Phil puts Fred out of his misery, not a green tent job fortunately, but takes him off and brings on Willian. The crowd boo Fred off. Now they boo Fred every time the camera picks him out sitting on the bench. Harsh. David:
Alan would you agree that with the terrible defending by Brazil perhaps Thiago Silva is a bigger loss than Neymar?
GOAL! Best goal of the lot I think. So patient, so clinical from Germany. Khedira the creator, he plays it into Lahm, who has surged forward up the right. Skipper has the composure to pick out a man in the box and it’s Schurrle who has time to place the shot past the keeper. So many of the finishes have been so calm, made to look so easy. Nobody has had to do anything much to take his goal, the Brazil defence just being so out of position. Brazil 0 Germany 6 (Schurrle)
68 mins: Dante the first man in the book.
67 mins: Fred has what looks like a brilliant chance but he is off-side.
66 mins: Scheweinsteiger with a raking ball, excellent save from Cesar to cut it out before Schurrle can nick it.
64 mins: Muller, what a player this boy is, down the left, opening Brazil up on the break, crosses and that’s only an inch away from finding the free and fabulous Schurrle. Andrew Holgate:
In 1954 Austria came from 3-0 down to win 7-5 vs Switzerland, while England and Belgium shared a 4-4 draw. Both record games (goals scored in one game, biggest deficit to win, highest score draw).
63 mins: Maicon reckons he has been brought down in the box. The Germans reckon Maicon should have a yellow for diving.
61 mins: And now Khedira and Muller link up well, the latter curling a fine shot at goal. Excellent save. Juan Carlos Gonzalez-Najera:
It’s pointless to bring it up now, but again, why is Fred in this team? Surely he cannot be among the best Brazilian attackers in the world? Because if he is, Brazil has a very long road to travel before they can come back for the next cup.
60 mins: Normal service has been resumed, Muller skips around the keeper and that’s a heroic dive by Cesar to nick the ball off him.
58 mins: Another chance for Brazil, playing pretty well now, but sadly it falls to Fred who, well, you can guess the rest. Wrong Said Fred.
57 mins: Klose comes off. Not a bad hour’s work. Schurrle on Robert Stewart:
At current rate of progress Brazil will come fifth in the third place play-off. On a more serious note one cannot help but feel sorry for the Brazilians who have ended up paying for the extravaganza. Let’s hope they redeem some pride.
55 mins: Brazil all over the Germans right now. Muller having a magnificent game at front and now back as well, charging back and hurling himself into important tackles. Thulisani:
Good Lord, I didnt think missin Neymar wld take Brazil so out of it, I too wish they cld just throw in the towel(s). Funny too earlier today I read an article on 5 reasons why Germany will will, well maybe there is saving face for Brasil coz there was 3reasons they cld hold off Germany too.
53 mins: Paulinho! The sloppy Germans are all over the place, disgraceful, they’ll be wanting to raise their game here or, well, they’ll only win eight nil. Lofted ball over to Paulinho on the left, he’s got time and space. He has to score. He hits it straight at the keeper. Comes back at him but he fails with the follow-up as well. Neuer with the double save.Lamas:
I wanted Brazil punished, but not this bad. At least it won’t get as bad Australia vs American Samoa. Right?
52 mins: Oh dear. Oh Brazil. They should have scored. Oscar at the fore, they’ve opened up the Germans and here’s Fred with the chance! He just sort of tumbles over, like a sad and dying tree. Jean Sullivan:
As a neutral for this match, it is still a nightmare. And just when you want to say that Germany has deserved this blow-out they seem to be thinking it’s fine to push Brazil players over at will. Is there such a thing as a clean game at this stage?
50 mins: Brazil play their best stuff of the match, and Ramires gets to the byline, that’s a good effort by Neuer to cut out the cross. Sai:
Oh My Gosh!!! I’ve refreshed my browser after I saw scoreboard changing from Brazil 0 -2 Germany to Brazil 0 -4 Germany. Few minutes later when I saw Brazil 0 -5 Germany, I thought there might virus/spam attack on my browser. I’m in the office on the west coast of USA -I do not know if Germany is prudent or if Brazil is lackadaisical today.
48 mins: Decent start from Brazil, Maicon wit the ball in, Oscar into the box, tries to dink it over the German defender and just runs into him. Ref not buying the penalty claim.
46 mins: Some subs. Fernandinho is the lucky man to be taken off. Paulinho can have a dose. The hapless Hulk comes off for Ramires. For the Germans, Hummels gets a rest and Mertesacker gets his chance.
HALF TIME BRAZIL 0 GERMANY 5 (AND YES THAT’S FIVE GOALS)Not sure I’ve seen anything like that. Khedira the pick, a lot of the Germans very good but wow. Brazil. Just utterly awful, so slow, so disorganised, so confused. Feel genuinely sorry for them.
Who better than Alan Hansen to assess this defence misery? “In the annals of time there has never been a game like this, a humiliation like this. It is about four levels below rock bottom. It is embarrassing. David Luiz is the captain and he has abandoned ship.”
43 mins: BBC commentator: “Joachim Low is strolling around his technical area like a man on a walk through a bluebell wood.” Yeah, that does sound pretty annoying. And German. Brazil have a freekick. The refereeing equivalent of the pity bunk-up. It comes to nowt.
41 mins: A rare chance for Brazil to get out of their own half as Oscar has a run at goal. Stopped by a brick wall of German. Loads and loads of emails coming in, we’ll get to them at the half if that is okay.
39 mins: Ozil with a lovely run, it looks for a minute that Brazil are going to be assuming the position once again as Klose and Muller exchange passes, but Dante – he’s in a circle of hell alright – manages to get a leg in the way.