Remember Google Maps Pokemon Challenge? It’s that time of the year, folks. Outlandish news, imaginary products unveilings, and outrageous announcements – tech companies are trying to one-up each other with the wildest April Fools’ day hoaxes. Some have even jumped the gun by a day, or in the case of OnePlus, by a few weeks.
If you don’t have the time or patience to sift through all the fake news today, we’re doing the hard work for you. Here’s what transpired so far.
The Google Chrome team thinks it’s too damn hard to share what you really feel when you read the news online. So it’s fixing things with a new feature available now in the Chrome for Android app. Chrome Selfie lets you take a selfie, along with a screenshot of whatever your reading, and send it to whomever you want. Handy! All kidding aside, we can totally see some cash-flush venture-funded startup trying to make this into a real product.
Retro style Amazon.com website, that introduced a new Dash button with future of Shopping for everyday shoppers.
Google Japan thinks the best way to spur the adoption of Google Now is to put Google’s virtual assistant in a cute and fluffy panda body. They even got bigwig Chris Yerga to introduce in on stage at a press conference.
Google Panda has three main functions: cuteness (“soft, rounded design”), mobility (it hugs you!), and durability (fluffy fur absorbs shock! if only smartphones had fur as well…). More about the groundbreaking new Google Panda here.
Google party horn keyboard
Typing is too hard! How about if, instead of pushing inconvenient keys, you could spell out words by blowing into a party horn? Not satisfied with Panda alone, the Google Japan team is introducing a Bluetooth-enabled party horn that will make tedious key pushing a memory.
Google Smartbox by Inbox
“Introducing a new way to interact with the mail you love. The good old-fashioned kind of mail that you touch with your hands… and smell with your nose.” Thank you Inbox team!
Moto Selfie Stick
Hipsters of the world, rejoice. You will definitely appreciate Motorola’s new product: handmade, leather-bound, custom selfie sticks. Because when you have to embarrass yourself with a selfie stick, you should at least do it in style.
T-Mobile Pets Unleashed
Your carrier hates puppies! So put it to the doghouse and switch to T-Mobile, where Pets Unleashedlets your favorite furry friends get their paws on their dream devices, starting at five bucks a month. What would your pet do with a smartphone or tablet, you ask? Easy – swipe through Pet Tinder, use FitPet, and watch zebra porn. Yes, really.
Microsoft has had a hard time with its mobile operating system, so it’s going back to basic with MS-DOS Mobile. Black and white text has never looked so good! Launch apps or send messages, with a simple text command!
Visit r/Android today, that bastion of all things blessed by Duarte (okay, that’s r/AndroidCircleJerk actually) and you’ll be in for a nasty surprise. At least r/Apple users are probably just as confused.
Updating with more silliness as it comes! Missed anything? Tell us in the comments.